How to improve ANYTHING

Okay, G&G is dead. NOT ANY MORE BRO!

To inject new life into the limp, dry & lifeless fish carcass that is pre-L'Oreal hair I present to you three simple ways to improving anything. Literally. Anything you can think of can be improved with one of three things.

• Velociraptors - Seriously though, how many films have you watched *coughtwishitecough* and thought desparately needed improving? Yeah, I knew it. Imagine that Edmund Cullten pansy running away from a vicious dinosaur. Yeah. Told you. AND REMEMBER HOW MUCH FUN THE DINOSAURS WERE HAVING!? The could've partied all night if Kanye hadn't had anything to say about it "YO DINOS I KNOW YOU'RE PARTYING HARD AND ALL AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT THE MOON HAD ONE OF THE BEST METEOR STRIKES OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME!!". As it was he was wrong and that meteor was the best of all time. You know why? Yep, Velociraptors.

• Gravy -  Goddamn I love me some gravy. Got a Pie? Slap some gravy on that. Chips? Sure why not. Bangers & Mash? Don't mind if I do! Lasagne? Now don't be absurd but that's where the next thing comes in.

• Stephen Fry - NATIONAL TREASURE. With this GOD man (he's a god really though) things that can't be improved with Gravy or Velociraptors become 9001% more awesome. Look at him. If any of you americans knew anything about him you'd agree. I can't think of anything i'd rather do than join Stephen Fry and hunt Triceratops with my pet Velociraptors and eat my kills with some Gravy.

GOOD TIMES.

Rawr

THIS IS A POST. IN CAPS, BCOS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.

...apparently. =D

YARRRR

So last night I ordered a pizza. Except I forgot to tell them to deliver it, so I had to drive into the next townshend over and go get it. The guy who gave it to me was like me, even had the same name, but he was a nerdy, socially awkward neckbeard, so I think I need his job. Also damn, the pizza was salty. They gave me lots of wing sauce because I am awesome, though, so whatever I eat today will be covered in wing sauce and probably make me poop fire for the next 3 weeks. But it is very worth it, because that sauce is pretty warm, and tastes good. SEXY, BABY. Also, go to Pizza Hut and order like 5 Big Italy pizzas, make Pizza Hut lose money!

James says: KICKASS

James says:

KICKASS

I will be writing a blog soon about the CAL Cast and Transformice

KiwiDean says:

I couldn't think about anything better, lol

Transformice, huh?

intriguing...

James says:

that game

is made for trolling

and it's so funny

KiwiDean says:

oic

by "that game" you mean Transformice?

James says:

yes

KiwiDean says:

lol, k

James says:

Also I'm pregnant

KiwiDean says:

oh, OK

Sparty the father?

James says:

HELL no

he's just the husband

Buzz is the father

KiwiDean says:

ahh, OK

when'd you go to Englandland?

James says:

last Thursday

KiwiDean says:

lol, fair enough

and would I be correct in assuming that you got molested by roughly 18 pedophiles?

James says:

yep

and then beaten by crooked cops

and anally raped by a prostitute

(don't ask how, I'm just glad she returned it after)

KiwiDean says:

lol, dildo

either that or "she" was a manstitute

that's pretty common in England. Most of them are from Africa

James says:

oh god

KiwiDean says:

English is a minor language there now, I've heard

James says:

in Africa?

KiwiDean says:

nah, in England

James says:

the fuck

Seriously, what? England, the mother of all dominating the world and suppressing their culture, is being SUBVERTED? OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD. Transformice: There is a cheese and a hole. You are a mouse. Must get to cheese and then back to hole. Catch: cheese is often difficult or impossible to reach without divine intervention. Luckily, one player per round is the "shaman" who can summon objects and attachments out of midair to help mice get to cheese and back again. Of course, since the shaman must be doing shit most of the time, it is very easy to troll people.

Simply make bridges/platforms that LOOK solid, but once they appear, are ghost bridges. (only interacts with other objects, not mice). Greedy fuckers who can see where it will appear will jump for it to get the edge on others, only to fall through it and die. Another way to troll is to make a bunch of useless platforms that make a tree. Or a house. Or a dildo. Seriously, just screwing with people by making something worthless is great, because they give you "10/10 WOULD HIRE AS ARCHITECT". Bonus points if YOU manage to climb up it to the cheese and claim all the players suck.

Best option: don't do shit. Scream in chat for SHAMAN HELP and FUCKING NOOB SHAMAN YOU SUCK. Feigning that you didn't realize the shaman changed and getting people to fall for it is funny. Even better if you do things that may be construed as helpful but kill everyone. Or just outright kill everyone, block the hole, and /dance. Fun for you, but not really for anyone else except the few survivors.

http://www.transformice.com/en2 (there is also a en server and a fr server, but en is lagged to shit most of the time and no one likes the french.) PLAY IT. OR ANVIL GOD WILL CRUSH YOU.

Been a while

Since I've posted something on here.

Y'know, the description of this blog suggests that I'm "some weird dude from some upside-down land". I bet all 3 of you people who are reading this are thinking that it's exaggerating, amirite?

Well, let me inform you that it isn't. I do indeed live in an upside-down world. It's kinda fun. The only downside is the screwed up gravity. I had to glue my table to the ceiling this morning. Fun stuff, huh?

Attempting to glue the cat to the ceiling was much less fun though. I still have scratches on my arms from 2 weeks ago. D=

Anyways. That's my life in upside-down land. Enjoy! xD

Why can't you cut marshmallows with a spoon, eh?
I was shopping and the bastards charged me 30p for a lemon i don't even really want. What the fuck.

THAT BETTER BE BABY SPINACH. Adult spinach just don't cut it nowadays.

Yo CAL. Peace dudes.

BLOG POST 3

What's Santa's favorite gardening tool?

HOE HOE HOE!

Santa likes Hoes

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hoes/131140226926107?ref=ts

YOU SHOULD LIKE HOES TOO

LIKE HOES

LIKE HOES

HOES ARE CRYSTAL METH

CRYSTAL METH IN A CAN

HOES ARE POWERTHIRST

BUY HOES TODAY

ALSO SEX

In other news, the official Bingo scorecard:

Spartacus: 2

Maje: 2

Fallen Angel: 0

Felix: 9000

FELIX ALWAYS WINS

FELIX IS WINNING RIGHT NOW

FUCK

ALSO SEX

MajeSan is a Pimp.

It's true. He told me. I'm not even lying or anything. He also told me he likes whips and chains. I worry. Irishman+Whips+Chains+Guinness+Pimp Suit=One very fucked leprachaun. GG TFP.

Sparty's lineage

Most people are born to a man and a woman, correct?

Well, for our dear friend Spartacus, this has proved been proved to not be the case.

Sparty was "created" as a by product of an orgy between four Smurfs, Donald Trump, Sonic the Hedgehog, a painting of Rosie O'Donnell and a Tremolo.

Just thought I'd let you all know this.

BLOG POST 2

So me and Sparty were talking about this dream I had the other day. There were LIONS. JESUS CHRIST LIONS GET IN THE CAR!!! But THEY WERE ROCKING THE CAR TRYING TO GET IN OH NO WHAT DO WE DO. AND THEN THERE WERE COWS ON THE OTHER SIDE ROCKING TRYING TO GET IN BUT THEY COULDN'T BCOZ LIONS. And so we were logically freaking out and unable to escape from the car. So, I had to make a daring jump for the VAN, which would be big enough to fit the CAR into. After we threw the sheep inside it at the lions, to make space. The sheep also served as an obvious distraction, with what being edible and making noise and thrashing around. But anyways, the car got inside the van, but then we had to ditch the car and just drive away in the VAN. BUT THEN EARTHQUAKES! IN KENYA! THEY GAVE THE BABIES POWERTHIRST and they ran as fast as KENYANS against actual KENYANS and they raced against KENYANS and it was a tie and they were deported back to HAITIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

Hai thar

So, Maje's passed out drunk, and Sparty died spontaneously, so that leaves me to keep you guys entertained somehow.

Odds are, it'll be me shouting random facts at you for no apparent reason. For example:

Many Christians believe that God created the Universe and all of that crap. Well, what they don't know is that 3 weeks beforehand, Chuck Norris created God, and the Universe just sort of... happened a little while later. God just took the credit for it. Because of this, Chuck got a little pissed off, and roundhouse kicked him in the face for it.

No matter which way you look at religion, Chuck Norris is always the common denominator. He was the father of God and Buddha's uncle, while he adopted Spongebob when he was a kid, and Allah was the product of his raping said Spongebob.

So there you have it. Chuck Norris = proof beyond science and religion that science > religion. Nuff said.

BLOG POST

NEW TOPIC

Icy Wind Skarmory. It's almost as good as Mountain Dew and Green Apple Vodka. Jolly 176 gives you the min you need to outspeed base 115 at -1, and LO BB/Night Slash wrecks Starmie and Gengar. Run a little more speed and you can kill Zam too. LO Night Slash is a 2HKO on Rotom-A (though you almost never will get the chance to hit twice lol) and Tyranitar will be raped by Steel Wing (optional over Roost). Going to go sweep a tournament with this pro now.

Spartacus. says:

so

busy fapping or raping are we?

James says:

actually I'm playing Superman 64 now

Spartacus. says:

oh ok

James says:

lol not really

Spartacus. says:

so you are fapping?

James says:

nah I'm playing Runescape

Spartacus. says:

if you had said fapping i would have respected you more

James says:

I'm just kidding

again

lol

I'm playing Neopets

Spartacus. says:

tell me you're joking

again

James says:

yes

I'm really fapping

Spartacus. says:

gee, go figure

James says:

not really

I'm watching Robots

Spartacus. says:

YOU'RE LYING

James says:

I am

that's what I'm really doing

Spartacus. says:

oh ok

James says:

and being pestered by some guy for items in Guild Wars

Spartacus. says:

tell him to foad

and then

jump off a bridge

into a refinery

and drink all the oil

piss it out as tequila and become rich

FUCK THE OIL CRISIS LET'S GET GAZEBOED

James says:

FUCK YEAH

if you drink oil do you reall piss tequila?

I need to try it now

Spartacus. says:

GOGOGOGO DO IT

It turns out you don't piss tequila, you just need your stomach pumped.

A dream

So like, the other night I had this dream and there were like guns and shit and then some stuff happened and this shit got real and there were some explosions and i was like wow and some random dude was like SLOWWWW DOWWWNNNN and i was like FUCK YOU and i kicked him in the face and ran off so i could dump some waste lead piping that was used by some cuban gangster to kill someone in a lake and i was all like WTF why do i have this shitty pipe and then i woke up

Welcome to G&G!

Yeah, this is where the magic happens. We have faries and pixies and rainbows and Leprachauns (Unless Majesan raped them all and scared them all away) and pixies and rainbows and.... I'm repeating myself here.

Okay, so I lied about the magic. Bite me. But serious, you need to check this place out. Why? BECAUSE I SAID SO. That, and the fact that you'll be curious as to what has happened to Majesan in his latest drunken rampage, or me when I've been doing some shit.

HEY BITCHES

This your boy MajeSan in the house...

what movie is this? WTF

Accepted? A bunch of crazy fucking college rejects deciding to make a new college to pretend they got accepted to? SWEET THEY HAVE KEGS. I want to go to this college.Unless it's all shitty american beer. But anyways, apparently REAL colleges are gonna fck their shit up, so I have to go there fast before it gets shut down yo. Have some convo

Spartacus. says:

so yeah

you're a walking brewery

tell me, do you piss guinness?

James says:

no

I piss Schnoops

Spartacus. says:

and shit liqueurs

James says:

Schnopps*

indeed

Spartacus. says:

messy

James says:

a little bit

we go through a lot of toilet paper

but we get some of the investment back by selling it

Spartacus. says:

i would've thought it'd be chocolate boxes

just shit in the boxes and sell 'em back to cadbury

nobody will be able to tell the difference

James says:

pretty much

but I have to wipe after lol

MAJESAN WROTE OWN POST BCUZ PRO