Sparty's lineage

Most people are born to a man and a woman, correct?

Well, for our dear friend Spartacus, this has proved been proved to not be the case.

Sparty was "created" as a by product of an orgy between four Smurfs, Donald Trump, Sonic the Hedgehog, a painting of Rosie O'Donnell and a Tremolo.

Just thought I'd let you all know this.

BLOG POST 2

So me and Sparty were talking about this dream I had the other day. There were LIONS. JESUS CHRIST LIONS GET IN THE CAR!!! But THEY WERE ROCKING THE CAR TRYING TO GET IN OH NO WHAT DO WE DO. AND THEN THERE WERE COWS ON THE OTHER SIDE ROCKING TRYING TO GET IN BUT THEY COULDN'T BCOZ LIONS. And so we were logically freaking out and unable to escape from the car. So, I had to make a daring jump for the VAN, which would be big enough to fit the CAR into. After we threw the sheep inside it at the lions, to make space. The sheep also served as an obvious distraction, with what being edible and making noise and thrashing around. But anyways, the car got inside the van, but then we had to ditch the car and just drive away in the VAN. BUT THEN EARTHQUAKES! IN KENYA! THEY GAVE THE BABIES POWERTHIRST and they ran as fast as KENYANS against actual KENYANS and they raced against KENYANS and it was a tie and they were deported back to HAITIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

Hai thar

So, Maje's passed out drunk, and Sparty died spontaneously, so that leaves me to keep you guys entertained somehow.

Odds are, it'll be me shouting random facts at you for no apparent reason. For example:

Many Christians believe that God created the Universe and all of that crap. Well, what they don't know is that 3 weeks beforehand, Chuck Norris created God, and the Universe just sort of... happened a little while later. God just took the credit for it. Because of this, Chuck got a little pissed off, and roundhouse kicked him in the face for it.

No matter which way you look at religion, Chuck Norris is always the common denominator. He was the father of God and Buddha's uncle, while he adopted Spongebob when he was a kid, and Allah was the product of his raping said Spongebob.

So there you have it. Chuck Norris = proof beyond science and religion that science > religion. Nuff said.

BLOG POST

NEW TOPIC

Icy Wind Skarmory. It's almost as good as Mountain Dew and Green Apple Vodka. Jolly 176 gives you the min you need to outspeed base 115 at -1, and LO BB/Night Slash wrecks Starmie and Gengar. Run a little more speed and you can kill Zam too. LO Night Slash is a 2HKO on Rotom-A (though you almost never will get the chance to hit twice lol) and Tyranitar will be raped by Steel Wing (optional over Roost). Going to go sweep a tournament with this pro now.

Spartacus. says:

so

busy fapping or raping are we?

James says:

actually I'm playing Superman 64 now

Spartacus. says:

oh ok

James says:

lol not really

Spartacus. says:

so you are fapping?

James says:

nah I'm playing Runescape

Spartacus. says:

if you had said fapping i would have respected you more

James says:

I'm just kidding

again

lol

I'm playing Neopets

Spartacus. says:

tell me you're joking

again

James says:

yes

I'm really fapping

Spartacus. says:

gee, go figure

James says:

not really

I'm watching Robots

Spartacus. says:

YOU'RE LYING

James says:

I am

that's what I'm really doing

Spartacus. says:

oh ok

James says:

and being pestered by some guy for items in Guild Wars

Spartacus. says:

tell him to foad

and then

jump off a bridge

into a refinery

and drink all the oil

piss it out as tequila and become rich

FUCK THE OIL CRISIS LET'S GET GAZEBOED

James says:

FUCK YEAH

if you drink oil do you reall piss tequila?

I need to try it now

Spartacus. says:

GOGOGOGO DO IT

It turns out you don't piss tequila, you just need your stomach pumped.

A dream

So like, the other night I had this dream and there were like guns and shit and then some stuff happened and this shit got real and there were some explosions and i was like wow and some random dude was like SLOWWWW DOWWWNNNN and i was like FUCK YOU and i kicked him in the face and ran off so i could dump some waste lead piping that was used by some cuban gangster to kill someone in a lake and i was all like WTF why do i have this shitty pipe and then i woke up