How to improve ANYTHING

Okay, G&G is dead. NOT ANY MORE BRO!

To inject new life into the limp, dry & lifeless fish carcass that is pre-L'Oreal hair I present to you three simple ways to improving anything. Literally. Anything you can think of can be improved with one of three things.

• Velociraptors - Seriously though, how many films have you watched *coughtwishitecough* and thought desparately needed improving? Yeah, I knew it. Imagine that Edmund Cullten pansy running away from a vicious dinosaur. Yeah. Told you. AND REMEMBER HOW MUCH FUN THE DINOSAURS WERE HAVING!? The could've partied all night if Kanye hadn't had anything to say about it "YO DINOS I KNOW YOU'RE PARTYING HARD AND ALL AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT THE MOON HAD ONE OF THE BEST METEOR STRIKES OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME!!". As it was he was wrong and that meteor was the best of all time. You know why? Yep, Velociraptors.

• Gravy -  Goddamn I love me some gravy. Got a Pie? Slap some gravy on that. Chips? Sure why not. Bangers & Mash? Don't mind if I do! Lasagne? Now don't be absurd but that's where the next thing comes in.

• Stephen Fry - NATIONAL TREASURE. With this GOD man (he's a god really though) things that can't be improved with Gravy or Velociraptors become 9001% more awesome. Look at him. If any of you americans knew anything about him you'd agree. I can't think of anything i'd rather do than join Stephen Fry and hunt Triceratops with my pet Velociraptors and eat my kills with some Gravy.

GOOD TIMES.

Rawr

THIS IS A POST. IN CAPS, BCOS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.

...apparently. =D

YARRRR

So last night I ordered a pizza. Except I forgot to tell them to deliver it, so I had to drive into the next townshend over and go get it. The guy who gave it to me was like me, even had the same name, but he was a nerdy, socially awkward neckbeard, so I think I need his job. Also damn, the pizza was salty. They gave me lots of wing sauce because I am awesome, though, so whatever I eat today will be covered in wing sauce and probably make me poop fire for the next 3 weeks. But it is very worth it, because that sauce is pretty warm, and tastes good. SEXY, BABY. Also, go to Pizza Hut and order like 5 Big Italy pizzas, make Pizza Hut lose money!

James says: KICKASS

James says:

KICKASS

I will be writing a blog soon about the CAL Cast and Transformice

KiwiDean says:

I couldn't think about anything better, lol

Transformice, huh?

intriguing...

James says:

that game

is made for trolling

and it's so funny

KiwiDean says:

oic

by "that game" you mean Transformice?

James says:

yes

KiwiDean says:

lol, k

James says:

Also I'm pregnant

KiwiDean says:

oh, OK

Sparty the father?

James says:

HELL no

he's just the husband

Buzz is the father

KiwiDean says:

ahh, OK

when'd you go to Englandland?

James says:

last Thursday

KiwiDean says:

lol, fair enough

and would I be correct in assuming that you got molested by roughly 18 pedophiles?

James says:

yep

and then beaten by crooked cops

and anally raped by a prostitute

(don't ask how, I'm just glad she returned it after)

KiwiDean says:

lol, dildo

either that or "she" was a manstitute

that's pretty common in England. Most of them are from Africa

James says:

oh god

KiwiDean says:

English is a minor language there now, I've heard

James says:

in Africa?

KiwiDean says:

nah, in England

James says:

the fuck

Seriously, what? England, the mother of all dominating the world and suppressing their culture, is being SUBVERTED? OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD. Transformice: There is a cheese and a hole. You are a mouse. Must get to cheese and then back to hole. Catch: cheese is often difficult or impossible to reach without divine intervention. Luckily, one player per round is the "shaman" who can summon objects and attachments out of midair to help mice get to cheese and back again. Of course, since the shaman must be doing shit most of the time, it is very easy to troll people.

Simply make bridges/platforms that LOOK solid, but once they appear, are ghost bridges. (only interacts with other objects, not mice). Greedy fuckers who can see where it will appear will jump for it to get the edge on others, only to fall through it and die. Another way to troll is to make a bunch of useless platforms that make a tree. Or a house. Or a dildo. Seriously, just screwing with people by making something worthless is great, because they give you "10/10 WOULD HIRE AS ARCHITECT". Bonus points if YOU manage to climb up it to the cheese and claim all the players suck.

Best option: don't do shit. Scream in chat for SHAMAN HELP and FUCKING NOOB SHAMAN YOU SUCK. Feigning that you didn't realize the shaman changed and getting people to fall for it is funny. Even better if you do things that may be construed as helpful but kill everyone. Or just outright kill everyone, block the hole, and /dance. Fun for you, but not really for anyone else except the few survivors.

http://www.transformice.com/en2 (there is also a en server and a fr server, but en is lagged to shit most of the time and no one likes the french.) PLAY IT. OR ANVIL GOD WILL CRUSH YOU.

Been a while

Since I've posted something on here.

Y'know, the description of this blog suggests that I'm "some weird dude from some upside-down land". I bet all 3 of you people who are reading this are thinking that it's exaggerating, amirite?

Well, let me inform you that it isn't. I do indeed live in an upside-down world. It's kinda fun. The only downside is the screwed up gravity. I had to glue my table to the ceiling this morning. Fun stuff, huh?

Attempting to glue the cat to the ceiling was much less fun though. I still have scratches on my arms from 2 weeks ago. D=

Anyways. That's my life in upside-down land. Enjoy! xD

Why can't you cut marshmallows with a spoon, eh?
I was shopping and the bastards charged me 30p for a lemon i don't even really want. What the fuck.

THAT BETTER BE BABY SPINACH. Adult spinach just don't cut it nowadays.

Yo CAL. Peace dudes.

BLOG POST 3

What's Santa's favorite gardening tool?

HOE HOE HOE!

Santa likes Hoes

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hoes/131140226926107?ref=ts

YOU SHOULD LIKE HOES TOO

LIKE HOES

LIKE HOES

HOES ARE CRYSTAL METH

CRYSTAL METH IN A CAN

HOES ARE POWERTHIRST

BUY HOES TODAY

ALSO SEX

In other news, the official Bingo scorecard:

Spartacus: 2

Maje: 2

Fallen Angel: 0

Felix: 9000

FELIX ALWAYS WINS

FELIX IS WINNING RIGHT NOW

FUCK

ALSO SEX